Where did all the ‘allies’ go...?

With everything going on in the world, I am exhausted.

Every day I see more videos of people being kidnapped off the street, of an ongoing genocide, of how violent and unjust the world can really be.

And I’m supposed to just…get on Zoom?

I’m already trying to run a business, host a podcast, and plan my wedding. And that’s before we get into the emotional labour of maintaining friendships, planning my fiancé’s birthday, and trying not to live in a house that looks like a raccoon ransacked it.

When you add all the global events that make me feel afraid to exist as a bi, Mexican immigrant—or that make me fear for the safety of my friends—it’s just way too much.

Personally, and professionally, staying on top of everything is taking a toll. I know you’re probably feeling a similar way—feeling rage and heartbreak and exhaustion while also working to keep your organization afloat.

This sector asks so much of us, and we are expected to carry it all.

But when we look around, what do we see?

👉🏼 People deleting pronouns from their email signatures.

👉🏼 Organizations scrubbing “equity language” from their websites.

👉🏼 Executive Directors hoping to “lie low” until the next U.S. election.

I see a sector that resists fighting fascism with the same bravado that it attacks people like me with. The bravado those in power use to “other,” cage, and kill us with.

Where did all the “allies” go?

Right now, being a racialized and queer nonprofit leader feels dystopian; we’re hyper-aware, heart-heavy, and wondering why everyone around us is acting like things aren’t as serious as they are..

I don’t have answers. But I think naming where we are at is a start.

So, if you’re feeling this too, I see you. I grieve with you.

You’re not alone in this mess.

You’re not foolish for trying to make things better.

And no, you’re not the only one who hasn’t folded laundry in weeks 😬

I hope being seen makes your day a little bit brighter.